Dumped in less than 24 hours!

Oh man, it's been over 6 months since I had my last post. I guess I was really busy for the past 6 months. That's crazy. I'm glad to be back on the blog telling the world my ridiculous life story though...

So, it's like a Deja Vu. I started this blog with how I met Mr. A and how ridiculous it was. And that was back during the holidays of 2008. Well, during the holidays of 2009, I met this guy through a friend. Let's call him Mr. Prick. Just kidding... We'll call him Mr. T.

We were introduced to each other by a good friend. Since the introduction, we texted and Facebook'd each other everyday. Crazy, huh? That was going on for over a month. One week in December, a cousin of mine came to visit. And Mr. T was hanging out with us practically everyday for a week cause he was on vacation as well. He also got to know my friends and was accepted into my "circle of friends". My friends thought we looked cute together.

I'm not a person that would normally initiate a conversation. So, Mr. T was the one texting me and initiating all the conversations. I thought, "Well, maybe he was really interested in me." So, a couple of weeks into it, I asked him what he thought of the whole thing. He said, "Well, Jack, I am looking for friendship and a good circle of friends." Got it. Fine. We'll be friends. My heart was a little crushed, yes. But I understood that. Still a little confused though because his behaviors were really misleading. I mean friends don't text or talk everyday. I have a lot of good friends. Don't get me wrong. But I don't talk to or text my friends every freakin day! Anyhow, so, I made up my mind and got past that phase. We continued to hang out and become friends.

Last Friday, I was hanging out with him and my friends as usual. I told my friends, including Mr. T, I was going on a date on Sunday. Mr. T was all curious about it. Then, I had to leave for another party. While I was at the party, I got a text from him asking if we could talk at breakfast on Saturday. So, I met up with him on Saturday. We talked about other stuff. And then, I asked him what was it that he wanted to talk about. He said, "Remember how we met and became friends? And you wanted to be more than friends but I was not ready. I think I am now ready and would like to give it a try." Whoa... whoa... that kinda caught me off guard! I had not really expected that coming. I was confused and didn't know what to say. I asked him a lot of questions (typical of me...). And he said, "Well... think about it. The ball is in your court." And we left the place-- him to work, me to the gym.

I thought about it all afternoon. I was not sure if that was for real. I couldn't rationalize it. He said his feelings had changed over time and started to develop the feeling towards me. I don't know if that was because he knew I was going on a date with someone and didn't want to lose me. So, maybe that was why he just said that to keep me hanging? "Enough of the non-sense and you should stop being so negative. Maybe you should believe it was for real.", I told myself.

So, in the evening, we went to dinner and hung out with a couple of friends. As I was driving him home, we got to talk again. I asked him a lot of questions (as usual). I was scared and paranoid. But at the end of the conversation, I told him I'd like to give it a try as well. So, we kissed. Yeah... tongue and all that. Sweet, right? Keep reading...

When I got home, I got a text from him saying it was a nice night and thanking for the talk. I replied and said it was a wonderful night and thanked him for his company.

In the morning, we went to breakfast with a couple of friends... then, CostCo. Everything was fine. I dropped him off at his place and then went to see some friends on the Plaza. On the way there, I got a call from him. He asked if I had time to talk. "Of course", I said. So we talked.

Basically, what he was telling me was that he would like to undo what we had talked about on Saturday morning and evening. He said that he was not ready for it and that he shouldn't pull me into something that he was not ready for. Of course, I was playing nice and cool. I said, "Oh yeah. If you're not ready, you're not. And you can't force that. And I understand as we both wouldn't be happy anyway." After we talked, he sent me a text saying "If you would prefer not to talk to me for a while, I completely understand. I'm sorry I got you involved in something that should have been kept to myself. I really am ashamed." I didn't respond to the text. Seven hours later, I got another text from him "After a bunch of cussing, I got the new belt on my treadmill :)"

What the F*?! For real?? Was that really happening to me? So, a guy told me his feelings had changed and he would like to date me. So, I convinced myself to open myself up to the possibility. And then, less than 24 hours later, he freakin broke it off! Then, he sent me a text saying he would understand if I didn't talk to him. And then, seven hours later, he sent me another text with a smile on it. Seriously?? WTF?!

Oh man, I was devastated on Sunday. A friend came to talk to me at a bar. All the sudden, I started crying. I was drinking and eating carbs like there was no tomorrow. Ridiculous! I was a mess on Sunday. I was really down on Monday. I couldn't concentrate on work. My friends that knew about it helped me get through it. They talked to me and rationalized it for me. The bottom line... Jack, you don't deserve him. And it wouldn't have been a good relationship anyway. It seems he has issues that he has to work on.

So, I didn't talk to him for a couple of days. Yesterday, I got a text from him. He must have read my Facebook status. "Morning. Glad you feel a little better. I'm extremely sorry to have caused you feelings of hurt, anger, and sadness. I realize you may not think that based on what happened, but I truly am. Hope you have a good day." I didn't reply. Two hours later, he sent another text, "I won't keep texting you. It's not good for either of us if both aren't ready to talk. Take it easy." Seriously? What exactly was he trying to get out of me? I got tired of that. So, I responded. I wanted to talk it out and really wanted to know what was going on. So, we agreed to talk last night.

We met at Starbucks. I asked him what happened on Sunday. He said after we kissed, his feelings changed. He said we looked good together on paper and he was trying to force his feelings. But his gut feeling said it wouldn't work. And he knew that after our kissing. Umm... really? You can tell by kissing someone? First of all, I've never had any complaints about my kissing. Second of all, I floss and brush my teeth and use the Listerine!! That can't be it! Oh... and he also said, he did some research about speed dating and about 90% of the time, people listened to their gut feeling and it was mostly true. I'm sorry. Did we just have a speed dating session? It all sounded like a bullshit to me. Not to be bitter about it. But I looked back to what he had said on Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon, what he told me last night just didn't really make sense. I gave up on the conversation with him. I knew he was not telling me the truth-- conflicting stories. I'm an auditor. I am logical and can detect lies. People just don't change their feelings overnight. If what he had said on Saturday morning about his feelings had been true, why did they change so fast in less than 24 hours?! What's the point of continuing the conversation, right? If he's not telling the truth, there is no point of having the conversation and going round in circle.

I thought to myself, I probably wouldn't want this kind of person anyway-- someone that is not honest to themselves and to others, someone that doesn't respect people's feelings, someone that judges their relationship based on the first kiss (if what he said was true!) rather than compatibility, and someone that can't even be open to you.

Yes, Jack, you deserve someone better. It might take 10 years to get there. But it will be worth it. Don't give up hope. But for now, you should put your guards up and protect your heart.